Issue date: 5/1/08 Section: Opinion

The more I though on it, the more disbelief I found in myself. How could my mom be so focused on me raising a family, and more importantly, is that all that really matters to her? I thought that we as a society had come so far and that women were valued for more than their child bearing purposes, yet here was my mother basically emphasizing that my life will mean nothing if I don't follow my "traditional role."

Don't get me wrong, I believe that when a couple decides to have children their lives must be dedicated to the care and love of that child. Therefore, this couple must decide who makes less money, and how their schedules can be rearranged to best ensure that the child has the most financial security while maximizing time spent with one parent or both. I firmly do not believe in day care, unless it is a necessity. I feel that parents who dump their children in day care, only because they don't want to give up their careers are doing a disservice to their children. Children need their parents, and as a society we need our children to grow with strong morals and strong minds to better this world we live in.

Now, from someone else's point of view it may seem that I am speaking on something that I have no idea about. How can I, a woman with no children, possibly make such an assessment on society? Well, I come from a family of six children. My parents have been married for over 25 years, and my siblings and I had never once been in the care of another person beyond close extended family for more than a few hours. My parents needed the occasional baby sitter, but for the most part they worked out their schedules to make sure we had what we needed, which was most importantly them. Now, if my parents could work it out with six children to think about, I think anyone can. My older brother also has three wonderful children, and he has the same philosophy. I see him struggle to make sure that his children are never left with caretakers outside of close extended family, and his kids are truly amazing children. Perhaps I am saying that because I am partial to them, but anyone who meets them usually can understand within moments how awesome these kids are.

Case in point, I am not ready for kids or the responsibility that comes with them. I feel women are pressured into filling that role before they are ready. In general, society looks upon women who are young and unattached to a man as if something were wrong with them. I have experienced many times when family or family friends have expressed utter disbelief that I am 26 years old, and unmarried. They can't comprehend the concept that I am not ready, and not looking to settle down. Which brings me to my final point, we as women will never find equality until we stop putting these expectations upon ourselves. How can we expect society to change, if we don't remove those expectations first, within ourselves?

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